Different for Once: Answering Machine Messages

February 20, 2010

Has it ever happened to you, where you search for something, say funny answering machine messages, and then you get 20 sites that give you the same 5 messages? Well, that’s what Different For Once is for. It’s where I come up with this stuff right off the top of my head, to put something ORIGINAL out there. Here we go:

“Hello, welcome to Fun With Acronyms International. If you would like to leave us a SVM, please leave a NPR style message. If you must SWRP, then please HUATA. Thank you.” –Here, SVM = Standard Voice Mail, NPR= Name, Phone number, and Reason why you called, SWRP = Speak With Real People, and HUATA = Hang Up And Try Again.

“Hello…Who is this, again?…Oh, yeah, I remember. Why did you call?…Just kidding. I’m not here!” –Here, you pause at the … as if someone responds. If done right, it won’t seem like the answering machine.

“Congratulations! You have a chance to win a billion dollars in the International Phone Call Sweepstakes! All you have to do to enter is leave your name, number, the reason why you called this number (or misdialed it), and your bank account details! If we call you back, you lose. Happy Spending!” –I hold no liability for any damages done to you or others as a result of you actually using this to scam people. There, I’m not liable! 🙂

“Use next phone number.” –Like those ‘Use Next Window’ signs you see in various places.

Hopefully, you’ve never seen these before! If you have, someone probably took it from here. Ah well, I don’t care.